Toni Louw is one of the finest presentation/public speaking coaches in the business and, in 2011, Toni will be leading a webinar for Vistage members. I’ve known Toni for 20 years, and I have never stopped learning from him. Let me share a story Toni once told me that illustrates why people can be so nervous when delivering a formal presentation.
When Toni was younger he gave a speech in South Africa; he was incredibly nervous. (Hard to imagine now, but it’s true). His heart was racing, and he was sweating profusely. (We’ve all been there!) Toni delivered the speech and as he came down from the podium, he was stopped by a man who said, “Great speech, just don’t be so selfish next time.” It was an extraordinary aha moment for him. Toni realized his nervousness came from being focused on himself and his performance – at being “looked at” and judged. He finally came to grips with the fact this his audience wasn’t there to critique his speaking ability, but to listen to his message. Toni knew that if he could shift his focus to caring more about his audience than himself, then he’d be exponentially more effective and it would ameliorate his nervousness.
Hearing this story was an aha moment for me as well; once I started to care more about my audience than myself, it was the greatest relief in the world! Next time you’re feeling overly anxious before a presentation, try it!
Such a great lesson, Leo. I remember years ago being so scared to speak for a wedding ceremony, and my best friend telling me, “This isn’t about you–this is (our friend’s) day, go do her proud.”
I take that with me every time I go speak in front of anyone, to this day.
Such a great lesson, Leo. I remember years ago being so scared to speak for a wedding ceremony, and my best friend telling me, “This isn’t about you–this is (our friend’s) day, go do her proud.”
I take that with me every time I go speak in front of anyone, to this day.
Great points Leo. And thanks Gina. I’m actually officiating a wedding this weekend and, needless to say, I’m a bit nervous. This is a great reminder that it’s not about me.
Great points Leo. And thanks Gina. I’m actually officiating a wedding this weekend and, needless to say, I’m a bit nervous. This is a great reminder that it’s not about me.
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